At the beginning of Joshua's first day in grade 1, he was confident and pleased to be going out to school.
Sitting at his desk waiting for me to leave, he was still pleased and eager.
In Joshua's words:
"It went weller than I thought it would... We didn't even have to do any reading or writing... I did lots of colouring. And listening... School went great, Mum... [At lunchtime] I didn't play with L [a friend in another class], I played with N [the boy he sits next to]. We didn't play, we just told jokes and stuff. I didn't get to play. I spent most of the lunch time walking around, trying to find the adult to ask if I could put my lunchbox away in my bag. I just got back to the gate and the bell went... Mrs C is very kind... I like school. What you do is mostly not learning, it's mostly crafts and fun. Today was my best day ever!"
In my words:
It has been hard to give up my dream of homeschooling Joshua. Dropping him off at school wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be. But picking him up was terrible. I didn't cry, but I got really grumpy by the time he'd finished telling me about his day. And I went and bought and ate a Sn*ckers bar, which is probably evidence that if I couldn't have my way with one thing, I darn well was going to with another.
Aah, self-pity is a terrible thing. I'm so disappointed in myself that I couldn't enjoy this day as much as Joshua was, for his sake if not mine.
At least I didn't cry.
(And Anna and I did have a great day of homeschool.)
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6 comments:
Hi Sharon, I know its hard to let go, but I must say Josh looks handsome in his uniform. He is so grown up! Anna will look equally impressive next year in her uniform! Love Telma
He's looking sharp!
"Mostly crafts and fun. Today was my best day ever!" May the honeymoon last all year! Even all week! :)
oh Sharon - one chocolate bar isn't so bad if that's what it came to (just don't do it everytime you pick him up from school!!!)
I think it's always really hard as a mum when you can't live out your expecations/dreams for your children, even when you see that they alternative is better. I really struggled when I had to give my little P formula becuase I was determined to b-feed her for a year. She needed the formula (undersupply issues), but it was still hard. Now I realise that God was teaching me to trust Him rather than my own 'mothering skills'. He is in control and He is working it out for our good.
Will be praying that it gets easier for you!
A chocolate was definitely in order. Especially if he comes to think that school is not about learning and that it will be mostly crafts and fun. Maybe something stronger than a chocolate would be in order? For me it would be. And I don't even drink.
Hope he doesn't get bored too soon though - that would concern me. I feel all your children are quite bright and gifted like you. School has a way of coming to the lowest common denominator and the children that are ready and need more don't always get it.
It's a great thing that you have his best interest at heart and can continue the awesome work that you've done with them. A lot of parents are out of their depth, but you are very well equipped - which is a huge blessing to your family.
I haven't had ANY time for blogging in 2 months (not even reading!) but I thought that I should at least comment and give you my support here.
Were I in your situation, I wouldhave cried AND eaten a whole roll of Chips Ahoy! You should not expect to go through this major change with no emotion or disappointment - it's part of learning more about God's goodness and plan for Joshua and for you! Alow yourself to moarn for the change in your goals and pray for more peace and comfort to come with time. God will provide exactly what your heart needs! :-) And Joshua will be well taken care of by Him!
Blessings,
Andrea
Thanks Andrea, I needed that. ~ Sharon
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