Saturday, 5 September 2009

Thoughts on Sin

There are times when I reminisce not exactly fondly but at least with fleshly yearning for those times before I was a Christian when I sinned unthinkingly. But at the same time, I now know I shouldn't sin and I honestly don't want to. It is a strange conundrum that I am coming to recognise more and more in my life. I can't just sin without feeling the depth of my guilt anymore, without struggling with remorse. And so I can't sin willingly, unhesitatingly, wantonly as I did before, when I was headed at a flat out run for destruction.

Now, there are times when the weight of my desire to sin is so present it is almost like a thick fog that I struggle through. And yet, I am keeping on through that fog, with God's help, because I know that my Saviour lives in me and through my resistance of temptation He is shaping me into the holy vessel that He desires me to be: conformed to His shape, not my old one.

One of the things that reassures me that my faith is real is the intense hate I feel for my own sinfulness. I never felt that way before I was a Christian, even if at times I did feel a little guilt. So even in those days when I struggle most with the sad knowledge of my own sinfulness, I also rejoice the most because I know the depths of my Saviour's love for me most intimately.

~ Sharon

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