Sibling Love and Tears

Last night, as I lay talking to Joshua before he went to sleep, I warned him that today would be his last day at BSF. Next year he will be too old for the pre-school children's program and he will be going to away-school during the days. His first response was to focus on the issue of being at school and the impact this would have on his ability to watch Play School:

"Perhaps I can talk to my teacher and tell her all about Play School and then she'll let us watch it when it's on."

"It's not very likely", I told him. "You'll be too busy doing lessons to watch TV."

Then I went to cuddle Anna and told her the same news. Tomorrow (ie, today) would be the last day of BSF classes for the year, and next year Joshua would be too old to go, but Samuel would finally be old enough, so he would be coming to BSF with us for the first time. Anna burst into tears!

"But I will miss him!" she told me through her sobs.

"But you will have your other Bible Study friends with you." I explained.

"But he comforts me and helps me to be happy," she told me.

How could I argue with that?

Then she asked, "How will I play with him, if he is at school all day?"

I explained that he would be home in time to play with her in the afternoons.

But I have to admit that I, too, am worried that he will not have enough time with us when he is busy at school all day. I hope there is adequate time for him to play with her (and Abi and Sam), as well as talk to me (and Jeff) when he is going to away-school. I guess one of the benefits of the school year beginning at the end of summer is we will still have a few weeks of Daylight Saving left to enjoy together while he gets used to the long days away from home. He will hopefully be less tired at the end of each day before winter comes and with it the shorter days.

Anna cried for ages, and would not be comforted. She was truly distraught by the idea that Joshua might not be with her at BSF and even worse, that he might not be with her to play with each and every day. In the end, it took cuddles and jokes with Dad to take her mind off things enough for her to calm down. Even then she couldn't settle and had to be put down to sleep in our bed. All of the kids fall asleep better in there, even without our presence, for some reason. And later, after we had put her into her bed, she woke up and cried again and needed more cuddles and reassurance before she finally slept deeply and could be transferred back to her own room for the last time.

I did not have any idea I would be opening this can of worms when I told Anna about the end of BSF classes for the year. It came as a surprise to Jeff as well. Neither of us realised fully, until this conversation, just how attached Anna is to Joshua. He is her best friend!

They do play together very well each afternoon. I thought a large part of it was that Joshua had already been in the habit of playing quietly during afternoon "Quiet Time" and when Anna dropped her nap, she simply took the lead from him. However, it is now obvious that it is more than that. The afternoon Quiet Time, when they have up to an hour to play quietly in the lounge together while Abigail and Samuel nap and I have "Mummy Time" (reading a book, on the computer or sometimes napping myself) has allowed them to bond into a very close friendship, closer than either of them have with their other siblings. The time they have lessons together has probably helped them to become closer as well. Hmmm.

I already knew Anna would miss Joshua when he goes to school, though. Because I will be missing him too!

In the boy's bedroom, when he heard Anna's tears, Joshua became upset as well. All of a sudden he realised that he would not be seeing his BSF friends again (without my organising a play date) and this upset him a lot. However, he was able to be comforted by taking up my suggestion to pray about it.

"God, I am very sad about not seeing my Bible Study friends again. Please look after them and help me to be able to play with them at other times. Help me to make new friends at school. Thank you. You are a great Almighty God and You do miracles. You fed and looked after the Israelites in the desert. You can look after my friends, too. Amen." And after this short prayer, he was calm.

I am glad we have taught Joshua to turn to God when he is upset, as well as talk to Him when he is happy. I am glad that when we read Bible stories to him, we talk about what we can learn from them and apply to our own lives. I am glad that we use big words like "sovereign" and "almighty" with him, and tell him what they mean, so he understands a little of the nature of God. And I am enormously grateful that my son evidently has the Holy Spirit within his heart, prompting him to rely upon his Father in heaven, who is indeed sovereign and able to look after each and every one of us.