Building Boys and Growing Girls pt1

This series is the text of a talk for my GEMS meeting. It is written from a Christian world view: this is a warning, not an apology!

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: God created boys biologically and chemically different to girls
Boys grow up to have bigger pectorals and girls grow up to have bigger mammary glands, but the biological differences don't stop there. Girls have higher levels of serotonin and boys have much higher levels of testosterone, but the chemical differences don't stop there either. Differences in chemistry and anatomy between boys and girls have flow on effects to the way the children behave, the choices they make and the relationships they have. The differences between boys and girls are not merely a result of social forces, and these differences have a purpose: God's purpose for their lives as adults.

: God created boys to be built into men
Boys are noisy and wiggly; they enjoy playing active, often destructive games; they also enjoy building things and making objects; they like to fight, argue and boast; they take risks; they are good at spatial skills and logical thinking. Boys want to be big, strong, brave and powerful.
This boyish nature is, to a large extent, a result of the biological and chemical nature of boys' bodies.

The hormone testosterone is higher in boys (with spikes prenatally and during puberty), inclining them to higher-risk behaviour choices and equipping them with a drive to succeed. The corpus collosum, a bundle of nerves which join the two halves of the brain, is smaller and less efficient in boys, giving them comparatively less facility with language and hence their communication is more tightly focussed on facts and less on emotions.

These are tendencies which will build them into men who will serve their family as a leader, provider, protector and spiritual director; they will serve the greater body of Christ in some of these ways also, through their career or vocation.

: God's (broad) purposes for men
Boys need to be built into men who will be the husband (manager) of their family.
A husband is not just the name for the male in a marriage relationship: to be a husband means to be one who manages and uses resources thriftily (synonyms of the verb include budget, conserve, economise); the name "husband" has roots in a description of a farmer who tilled his soil and raised food, rendered "husbandman" in the KJV. "Husbandry" refers to farming especially when regarded as a science, skill or art; it also refers to management of responsibilities and resources (synonyms include cultivation, land management, careful management, frugality, thrift, good housekeeping).

Ephesians 5:23 says, "For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour." 1 Timothy 3:4 (describing those men suitable for service to the church) says, "He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect." Verse 12 from the same chapter says, "A deacon must be the husband of but one wife and manage his children and his household well."

Boys need to be built into men who will be the provider for their family.
1 Timothy 5:8 says, "If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."

Boys need to be built into men who will be the protector of their family.
Ephesians 5:25&28 says, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her... In this same way husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself."

Boys need to be built into men who will be the pastor of their family.
Ephesians 6:4 says, "Fathers, do not exasperate your children - instead bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." Titus 1:6, another text which considers men who would be suitable for church leadership, lists a prerequisite of being "...a man whose children believe...". There are a number of OT texts which support this also.

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Coming up next:
God created girls to grow into women and God's (broad) purposes for women.

After that:
God builds boys and grows girls through the circumstances of their lives and Mothering to build boys and grow girls.

And lastly:
What every child needs, regardless of their gender - a relationship with God!